Tag Archives: #time

Can Exes Really Be Friends?

 So, I’ve discussed the above title of this post numerous times, and I am honestly on the fence. I think exes can be friends depending on the stage both parties are at in their lives. Example, if you and a boy dated in middle school and ya’ll broke up, okay cool no problem there. I don’t see any middle school couples seriously falling in love forever, wanting to build a future together, etc. Not saying it can’t happen, but in my middle school days, myself and my friends had ‘little’ boyfriends that our parents may or may not have known about and we were ‘together’ and that was it. I mean really, in middle school, what kind of ‘dating’ was there? As funny as it is now, what could we really do? Eat lunch together, pass notes, and maybe walk each other home, lol. Oh young love, how innocent it was back then. But, before I continue, I had one boyfriend in middle school and if you’re reading this, I’m just setting the foundation, lol. I was very happy back in my middle school days. This post is not to make it seem like my middle school love was horrible; it was what it was, I’m not saying you meant nothing, we’ve clearly both grown and matured. Yay adult-hood! There’s a bigger picture to this post.

Now, once we start hitting high school/college level I think even then it’s a yes, it just all depends on how deep the relationship was. Did ya’ll meet each others parents, were ya’ll going out on dates frequently, spending time together/getting to know each other? In high school I had a small handful of boyfriends, one I dated twice, but I don’t speak to them. There’s no harm or foul I just think we (and like most couples) people grow apart, ya’ll don’t hang in the same circles anymore, or even if you do hopefully it’s not awkward.

In today’s world exes should be able to be cordial if both parties feel it’s necessary. For me, my first serious boyfriend was definitely hard to get over because I was in love with him, and vice versa. This was the man I could’ve sworn I was going to marry. Granted we started dating as we were going into college, but like other boyfriends I had, I eventually got over him. That relationship was the serious, ‘Dangerously in Love’ love lol. Being in that relationship, like ANY relationship should taught me things about myself and for any future relationships.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong being friends with your ex, but it’s harder for females to get over our ex because we’re in love, we have memories, pictures, and gifts to remind us what we once had. Woman are emotional, and we tend to be the more passionate partner in our relationships.

To be transparent, with 2018 coming to an end, for any past/newly/future boyfriends I may have, yes I’m speaking this into existence. I only see us being cordial. I don’t want to reconnect, get back together, pick back up where we left off. If we were unable to fix things while we were dating then clearly it wasn’t meant to be. No, I’m not writing you off, BUT I am deciding that if I think you’re not good for my mental health then I’m leaving you in my past. Or, if I just really don’t think you’ve changed in anyway then it’s a No. I’m not saying if we see each other I won’t speak, or if you text me I won’t respond, things are just different. The relationship and memories we had will be just that. I don’t see or want to get back with any old/future/blast from the past relationships because I’m not compromising any more. I’m just choosing to love me more than I loved you. To anyone who’s dated me you know I care hard and I love even harder, but I’m being selfish with me. I’ve literally always been in relationships and I’m not trying to get my heart broken, again, or deal with the ups and downs that come with relationships. I’m not anti relationship, I’m not anti second chances, because I’ve done it before; but I will definitely be taking my own time into consideration.

I’m choosing in this up coming new year to work on ME. Do things for me. So, if you’re an ex and you’re reading this. Text me if you feel like talking, like a picture/leave a comment (not that social media should be the “be all end all”  in any capacity), but just don’t be a stranger. Treat me like a friend if you can handle that, and I’ll return the same energy.

To any followers, male specifically since this one is for you. Sure, I don’t mind going on a date, or two; but that’s just it. Don’t tell me later on how much you like me, I won’t be giving you the time of day. I just need to love and take care of Jordan first. If you’re really that interested in me, you’ll be patient. If not, you’re still the homie.

To any female followers, I’m not saying you can’t be friends with your ex, but I’m learning the only real way to get over anyone you’ve loved is to not talk to them as much, keep yourself busy, and EVENTUALLY it will happen. Trust me, I just went through this, and it was super annoying. As crazy as it sounds, one day I just woke up and it was like, oh, I’m not thinking of (insert name) as much. You will find your peace again. It’ll take time.

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