If there is one thing I’m learning it’s that I need to put my mental health first. This post is for myself and my readers. It’s about being able to push through. Understanding that people aren’t always going to receive the advice you give because they may not be ready too.
People have to work through their own feelings at their own pace. It can be very triggering, tiresome, and frustrating when you’re giving advice and the person asking just isn’t listening. There’s a difference between hearing and listening. That’s something I still struggle with, people can listen to what they want but it’s just as important to hear and be able to fully understand what’s being said to you. I’m trying to tell you, don’t think it’s the same thing. Wanting to be a good friend and helping others is just what a good friend does- but there comes a time where we have to remember to love ourselves. Take a step back and focus on our own well-being. Sometimes that friend who’s asking for advice just isn’t in the space where they can hear what you’re saying, or they simply can’t because they are experiencing depression, anxiety, etc. Don’t think because they aren’t hearing you it’s because they are being stubborn. Sometimes it’s way more than that.
The advice giving friend is only trying to help, but I can tell you first hand it’s a lot trying to help everyone else and we’re working on trying to be our own advice takers. Read that again. It takes so much more energy to be our own advice givers when we’re trying to help everyone else. It’s extremely draining to be a good friend and help someone when you’ve got your own problems to work through; I would bet my last dollar that the friends who are the advice givers, you’ll never know they’re going through things because they are trying to help their friends. I’m that person. She is me. I am her. I’m learning that I can’t save and help everyone if they don’t want to save and help themselves.
Another thing friend, stop always depending on your friends to be your therapist. That’s what therapist are for. Please go find one. I’ll do you one better and attach a link for you to search for a therapist in your local area. I’m pro therapy and see my therapist at least every two weeks as well as being able to email her. I have experienced a lot in these last 25 days of 2020 and it’s been rough but I’m purposely emerging myself in things that I like to do (all thanks to the advice of my therapist). I’m making sure I don’t sink into depression or have an anxiety attack. Learning how to work through my emotions is hard but I’m trying. Seeing a therapist is a big part of my life. I can’t just talk to family or friends all the time, not that that’s a bad thing but trust me when I tell you it’ll be great having an unbiased professional opinion.
If you don’t receive anything else just understand as good of a friend as you want to be, you’re going to quickly burn out if you don’t take the time to focus on you. Love yourself. Be selfish. Sometime’s it’s necessary. Don’t be so quick to rush to everyone’s side to help them. You keep doing that you won’t be able to help yourself. Your mental, emotional, spiritual, and physical health is just as important.
Click the link to find your therapist: https://www.goodtherapy.org/find-therapist.html?keyword=therapists%20near%20me&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIwt6JtoKg5wIVhJ6zCh0QdQC3EAAYAiAAEgIgJfD_BwE