Tag Archives: love

Get your own #RelationshipGoals

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What is it about how society portrays relationship goals that makes the rest of us think that’s what our relationships should be?

I can’t be the only one who loves to see those random videos of couples we don’t know confess their love for each other and re-post them. Or the videos from Valentines Day where the guy has a ton of flowers and balloons every where. You know, the cliche-esq  photos and videos that we wished our spouses did for us. I can admit I love love, and I have reposted those same videos and pictures myself. The best ones are engagement videos. I get teary-eyed, and hope and pray my future husband does something ten times better. But, why?

I think for some people they share their love story because they want others to know that true love does exist. The issue for me becomes when people try to copy what they’ve seen; or they try to match what celebrities show as their relationship goals. Be original, or just be boring. Let the love story be yours, and let it be unique. Who cares what others may have to say about you and your spouse, or if it doesn’t get reposted and goes viral. It’s your relationship, not theirs. If you have a million snap chat pictures with filters as your year anniversary then post it and be proud! Or if you’ve taken the time to have this elaborate photo shoot with dolphins, and flowers, and the sun glistening down on you and your spouse then that’s great too.

Be your own relationship goals. It’s okay to want  to have something like someone else, but not everything that glitters is gold. Understand that no relationship is perfect, and while you and I may love love no relationship is always sunshine and daises. You realize people only post the ‘good’ and never the ‘bad.’ We don’t see when couples argue, or things aren’t going how they should in the relationship. We emulate the good and forget that there is bad sometimes sprinkled in there too.

Take the time to build a relationship and chose to share with others because you want to, not because you think it’s what society thinks should happen. The best relationships are the ones where no one knows you and your spouses business. I’ve said it before, not everything is for social media. But, if you chose to post, let it be genuine and real.

Don’t do what society shows us what relationship goals are. Create your own and let that be your foundation. Don’t build your foundation on what you see others have. Every relationship and every spouse is different.

 

Get your own #relationshipgoals.

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Hi, I am Ms. Freels.

Today I finally was able to substitute teach. Nervous and excited I awoke at 5:15 AM to check my account, so I wouldn’t have to hear the automated man call, go through the generic questions, and then lastly have me either accept or deny the spot that was available. For the first hour nothing was available and I was starting to get nervous, because I was hesitant to shut my eyes and miss my opportunity. Finally at 6:45 AM something was finally available, so I clicked on accept and started to get ready for my day. I was supposed to report to the schools main office, sign in, and get to my class to sub from 8:10-3:330, for Ms.Haldimans Kindergarten class. The kids were so sweet and although they were a little hesitant about seeing my face they all warmed up to me. Greeting all of the lovely kids with, ‘Hi I am Ms. Freels’ I am here to help Ms. Newberry today, and of course with a smile on my face. Kudos to Ms. Newberry for making my first day a great one. I was comfortable with the kids and never felt over whelmed. Although I was assisting today I can definitely see myself taking over any future classroom on my own. Today was as great day, and I am glad it went so well. My most favorite moment was probably when one of the little girls drew me a picture and gave it to me before she left. I will be back! It may not be this particular school, but subbing was a great experience.

See you soon Kiddos!

Do What You Love.

When I was younger I use to always write little short stories or poems and my mother, being the proud mother she is would always put them on our refrigerator. Writing was something that always came natural to me, I guess you could say it is my first true love, as cliche as it sounds. Writing down my thoughts were always easier than verbally speaking on things I was not strong enough to say, and even sometimes now I write things down when my voice is sometimes weaker. But, as I have grown and matured my writing has too, along with my voice, and I am no longer afraid to voice my opinion. I write poems mainly based on experiences I have, or sometimes I step outside the box and write about things that others can relate too. Being a writer, I have grown to understand that criticism is good, and sometimes I forget that. My biggest fears are someone reading something I have written and not liking it, giving me negative feed-back, or not being able to relate too it. And as far as my first point of someone not liking it I know that, that too is okay, because it is just one persons opinion. As long as someone, just one person, can relate to anything I write I feel like I have conquered the world! It makes me feel good knowing that something I have written has helped, or changed someones day/life/mood.

Going back to my point of knowing that all criticism is good really hit me hard my senior year of undergrad in my Capstone class. For any alumnus of NJCU you would know that “Professor James” was probably the toughest professor but he was only tough because he wanted the best work from you. He was always reasonable and told you what you needed to hear, not what you wanted, but man… I wanted to really hurt him this particular day. For this Capstone class we each had to pick a particular topic and write about it(the type of papers we were writing were called Long form), along with two sidebars( two pieces that added to your bigger story but were two separate topics that connected still to the bigger picture). After showing Professor James my paper although not entirely finished I was super proud of my accomplishments, and was ready for his praises but he proceeded to give me feedback, AND IT WAS NOT what I wanted to hear. Mhm! When I tell you I was so angry at him and he knew it too. I know what he told me would only help my paper in the long run but I was so crushed by what he said I couldn’t even edit my paper for at least twenty minutes. Everything I wrote after I hated, and I was really struggling because every week we were supposed to have a different, more completed draft. All semester the only thing we did was work on our Long Form/Side Bar Stories. I wanted to scream I was so angry. All of my classmates were laughing at me because they never saw me upset before, and because he tore me a new one I wanted to rip everyone’s head off in the process. Afterwards of course, I calmed down and my professor did give me more feedback, this I appreciated too, but it made me feel proud all over again to be an English major and subsequently follow my dreams.

He told me, “Jordan, I know I was rough on you tonight, but in all honesty your writing has improved over the years being my student. It really has.” I will never forget what he told me because that helped me grow as well.

It is my dream to write children’s books, and with all the poems I have written and the few short stories I have done I feel like I am getting closer to my dream. Writing is something that calms me, and although sometimes I do not write as much as I need too, when I do write I fall in love with it all over again. I write sometimes until my fingers start to hurt, and I know when that happens I have nothing else to say. All my thoughts are on paper, or in this case, a screen.

I say all of this to say, do what you love! If it makes you happy do it!